Forming Men for Others Together

By Mark McNeil
“Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable,” Plato observed. Indeed, one can make a plausible case that the normal challenges of child-raising have multiplied in our times. Faced with these realities, the Vatican’s Congregation for Catholic Education emphasizes in a recent document the cooperative adventure Catholic schools undertake with parents to form children as persons of faith and service. Returning to basics, the document emphasizes the enormous importance of a “spirit of cooperation” in the work that “parents, teachers, non-teaching personnel and the school management” do to educate Catholic school students. 

With this notion of cooperation in mind, we at Strake Jesuit value the many ways that parents contribute to the mission of forming their sons into Men for Others. I recently spoke with a number of parents to find out about their experiences as cooperative participants in the school’s mission.

Whereas many parents participate in the Mothers’ Club, Mentor Moms, Auction, Spring Fling, Dads’ Club, Freshman Retreat, Booster Club, and more, other parents serve as partners in the school mission by the formative work they do within their families. All the parents with whom I spoke expressed deep appreciation for the ways Strake Jesuit has helped form their sons, a formation they provided long before the students came to us and that families continue to provide. Our partnership is the key to forming Men for Others.

Parent Involvement
Several parents emphasized how the school reinforces and strengthens their efforts to instill in their sons a way of life that values religious faith, service, a strong moral compass, and discipline. “Strake Jesuit makes it very convenient for parents to be involved,” one parent noted. “Dropping off cookies for a school event or helping provide transportation for freshmen on retreat are two of countless ways that we can provide the essential support that makes complex events run smoothly.” 

Parents also emphasized the cooperative relationships they have formed with teachers and staff members. One of the most striking features of my conversations was the parents’ confidence and trust in those who teach, coach, and work with their sons. Some even found it difficult to talk about their work of forming their sons without also immediately referencing how Strake Jesuit has helped their work to take a more pronounced and clear form in their young men. Parents expressed intense gratitude that our school provides such outstanding role models who embody virtues they have sought to instill in their sons.

Strake Jesuit Helping Families
One parent told me, “Strake Jesuit began helping us form our son into a Man for Others from day one with Orientation to Ownership.” This popular program led by Fr. Jeff Johnson, S.J., and the Learning Resource Center’s Mr. John Barone introduces parents to ways in which the school helps students grow in responsibility and independence, such as providing opportunities to learn from failure and offering layers of support from counselors, the Dean’s office, and caring faculty and staff.

One mom reflected on the wide range of emotions and challenges that the past few years have brought to their family, noting that COVID aggravated the normal challenges of high school life, college admissions, and extracurricular programs. She said, “The way that teachers and staff have gone through it all with the boys shows they really care for them. They have such kind and patient hearts.” Parent support of our faculty is exceptional at Strake Jesuit and greatly enhances the school’s ability to form their sons into men of virtue. 

Not long ago, members of the school’s Board of Directors questioned a panel of students from all grade levels about their experience of the school. When asked what they loved most about Strake Jesuit, the students responded that it was their teachers and staff members. A caring and talented faculty and staff does not happen by accident. Much care is taken in the hiring and development of faculty and staff at Strake Jesuit. Finding loving, energetic, and bright people who want to be here because we are a committed Catholic and Jesuit school is the first of many steps to building an environment that makes such a deep impact on our students.

Sophomore Retreat
One particularly special moment in the formation of our students is the Sophomore Father-Son Retreat. The dads I interviewed reflected enthusiastically on the impact of this experience with their sons. Though it’s natural to feel hesitancy before going on a retreat when unsure of what to expect, the dads all reported Father-Son retreat as one of the most special times of their sons’ high school years. “I wish we could do this retreat when they are sophomores and then again as seniors!” one dad exclaimed. 

The success of this retreat typically results from several factors. First, fathers and sons are brought together in the beautiful setting of the Retreat and Leadership Center, away from the busyness that often characterizes our lives. They are then invited to have meaningful conversations with each other, conversations that allow them to better understand and appreciate one another’s unique experiences and perspectives. The prayerful context of these conversations and the fellowship with other dads and their sons are two of the many powerful ways that Strake Jesuit helps strengthen families and invite the young men of our community to be Men for Others.

Men for Others
When Father General Pedro Arrupe spoke in 1973 of forming “Men and Women for Others” as the chief aim of Jesuit schools, he identified Jesus Christ as the ultimate example of a Man for Others. Many parents spoke of their confidence in Strake Jesuit’s formation of their sons as grounded in their confidence in our fidelity to proclaiming and modeling the love of Christ to our students. Indeed, as we work together, modeling lives “for others,” our students will be equipped to go forth and change the world for the better. 

Thank you, parents, for allowing us to work with you in forming Men for Others!
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