For much of my professional life, I’ve spoken in public. The fear of getting devoured alive by the audience has always been a good motivator. I always made sure I was prepared for each broadcast, interview, or event.
That preparation, in large part, began as a student at Strake Jesuit in the early 1990s with the teacher impersonations.
Every February on the SJET morning announcements, the call would go out: “Next Wednesday at lunch, head to room 302 for the Teacher Impersonations.”
My first year, I watched and learned. The next, I performed.
As a timid freshman in 1993, I arrived approximately 40 seconds after lunch began, parked myself in the back left corner of the room, and watched silently as every desk filled. Students stood against the walls and sat in the aisles.
We cackled at an on-the-nose Brother Casey impersonation.
“Put it in the whirlpool!”
We guffawed at a machine gun Carlos E. Roman physics lesson.
Watching it all on SJET a few weeks later in our homerooms during Spring Fling Raffle Sellers Day, and hearing those laughs roll, I knew: “I’ll be up on that screen next year with a doozy.” In time, the young Irishman teaching English would get the treatment. Mr. Robert Cremins was on the clock. I could mimic his intonations, gestures and sighs perfectly.
In February of 1994, the big day arrived. I was still timid, but I had my act ready. This would be fine. Like the year before, a few other impersonators would warm up the crowd and I’d roll in like Dana Carvey and get showered with laughs.
A room that sat 20 was packed with 50 to 60 seniors, and me. The first impersonator stumbled to the front...and BOMBED. I can’t recall the teacher he imitated. Rather, I recall scattered meows from the crowd after the first failed joke. Wadded up paper balls whizzing past his head. A weak, emasculating effort that quickly ended less than a minute later.
The next guy up? Dead on arrival. His act wasn’t very refined, and the catcalls came quicker than the first victim.
A third swift execution followed and I gutlessly decided “Maybe we’ll just try this again in 1995.”
But the emcee was feeling the heat as well, and without warning blurted out my name.
I was summoned.
I had no choice.
I steeled myself, stood up, and swiftly walked to the front of the room. The crowd was ready to pounce.
There were perhaps two seconds of silence before the attack commenced. But the Irish brogue bubbled up, a yell or two about Shakespeare’s “BUTCHERS!” from Julius Caesar pealed out, and I got some laughs.
I don’t remember much of the rest of that impersonation, other than it felt like I floated back to my seat with some “Good jobs” and high fives speeding me home.
But a life lesson was learned that day: come prepared, have something unique to say, and put up a brave front despite whatever nerves are jangling around inside you.
That lesson helped when I first sat in an anchor chair on TV in 2004. It made a difference when I went back-and-forth with Texas Tech Head Coach Mike Leach after some important football games from 2005 through 2008. A part of that day at impersonations was certainly with me in NRG Stadium on those Sundays speaking on the big screen in front of 70,000 at Texans games.
It’s definitely with me now. I’m back home at Jesuit, teaching World History and directing the SJET program. Each class begins with a prayer. I often find myself echoing those same prayer intentions I once impersonated.